


☆Mekakushi Hot D*mn☆

by Lidupo



Category: Kagerou Project
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Light Angst, Memes, Multi, chatfics are my guilty pleasure, i havent updated my other fics in literal forever, ill add tags later but for now im tired, so this is proof im still alive mostly, what the hell is the kagerou timeline
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2019-11-29 02:55:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18217244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lidupo/pseuds/Lidupo
Summary: ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ has changed the chat name to ☆Mekakushi Hot D*mn☆UselessBisexual: eh it. it kinda loses the effect when you censor it✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ has changed the chat name to ☆Mekakushi Hot D*mn☆ also fuck you K*no





	1. how do I get him off the chat

**Author's Note:**

> whats up my good bitches pwease give me ur validation and comment if you liked uwu
> 
> i mean not rlly do what you want but i hope you like this thing ive been working up the courage to post for literal months (: so keep in mind there might be a few dead memes im not editing this sorry

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧** has added  **Shintaro Kisaragi** ,  **Ayano Tateyama** , and 7 others to the chat.

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Hello!! I added all of the ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆Mekakushi Dan｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ to a group chat to make communication easier!!!!!!!!

 

**Shintaro Kisaragi:** jesus christ

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** Oh! Cool! Hey everybody!

 

**Tsubomi Kido:** Group chat?

 

**Shuuya Kano:** text messaging but with a bunch of people

 

**Tsubomi Kido:** Oh.

 

**Hibiya Amamiya:** have you srsly never been in a group chat?

 

**Shuuya Kano:** dont pretend you have you lonely loser

 

**Shuuya Kano:** also we (me, tsumbomi, and kousuke) have a groupchat we just… never use it

 

**Konoha:** oof

 

**Hibiya Amamiya:** kONOHA ur SupposED to be on My SidE???! Kano what the f*ck????

 

**Hibiya Amamiya:** wait who censored that swear it wasnt me

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** nO SWEARING ON MY CHRISTIAN SERVER!!!!!

 

**Hibiya Amamiya:** ah

 

**Shintaro Kisaragi:** wait does marry even like,,,, have a phone

 

**Marry:** I do, actually! Seto helped me get one!

 

**Shuuya Kano:** smooth

 

**Kousuke Seto:** shut the f*ck ill murder you

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** Woah i

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** I don’t think i’ve ever seen you swear before? Typed?

 

**Kousuke Seto:** aaaa! im sorry!! Alskfhlfgs i dont know what got into me sorry!!

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** There he is.

 

**Hibiya Amamiya:** ew how do i change my name real names are gross

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧** has changed  **Shintaro Kisaragi's** name to  **trashboi**

 

**trashboi:** hey

 

**Hibiya Amamiya** has changed their name to  **FedEx**

 

**FedEx:** found it

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** I dont get it.

 

**FedEx:** trucks

 

**Shuuya Kano** has changed their name to  **uwu**

 

**uwu:** understandable have a nice day

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** Hey amamiya? Are you doing ok? Just, in general? Today ? 

 

**FedEx:** i

 

**FedEx:** i dont rlly know

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** You can over if you want! We can hang out :)

 

**FedEx:** ok.

 

**uwu:** hey amamiya when are you of age ;)

 

**Tsubomi Kido:** How do I get him off the chat.

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** If you have admin privileges you can kick/ban him!

 

**Tsubomi Kido:** Can I have admin privileges? 

 

**Marry:** *May I

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Of course!

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧** has granted  **Tsubomi Kido** admin powers

 

**uwu:** wait no

 

**Tsubomi Kido** has kicked  **uwu** from the chat

 

**Konoha:** oh shit

 

**Kousuke Seto:** its what he deserves

 

**FedEx** has changed  **Tsubomi Kido** ’s name to  **TsuBOMBi**

 

**FedEx:** because ur the bomb. Thank you for saving me

 

**TsuBOMBi:** Your welcome.

 

**Marry:** *You’re

 

**TsuBOMBi** has changed  **Marry** ’s name to  **couldyoudiggitydont**

 

**Couldyoudiggitydont:** Oh no! I’m sorry, am I being annoying?

 

**TsuBOMBi** has changed  **couldyoudiggitydont** ’s name to  **waitnoily**

 

**trashboi:** wait why is konoha allowed to cuss but not us

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Hmm, gotta blast!

 

**trashboi:** this is blatant favoritism

 

**FedEx:** alrite im outside your door can you let me in

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** Ah crap im still getting dressed @trashboi can you open the door for me?

 

**trashboi:** my room is literally right next to yours you couldve asked me. yknow. verbally

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** Youre responding via text.

 

**trashboi:** ill go get the door

 

**FedEx:** going offline for a bit u can add k*no back

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** ALDJSLSLKJ YOU CENSORED HIS NAME

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** OKAY ILL BE OUT IN A SEC SO IM GOING OFFLINE TOO

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** oops capslocks

 

**Kousuke Seto:** alright bye guys!!

 

**TsuBOMBi** has added  **uwu** to the chat

 

**uwu:** IM BACK B*TCHES

 

**TsuBOMBi:** Change your name or I'm kicking you again.

 

**uwu:** )’’’:

 

**uwu** has changed their name to  **(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

 

**TsuBOMBi:** Nevermind that's worse.

 

**waitnoily:** *Nevermind, that's worse.

 

**TsuBOMBi:** Nevermind, that's worse.

 

**(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°):** marry???

 

**waitnoily:** It's me!

 

**(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°):** i feel like im missing some context here

 

**TsuBOMBi** has changed  **(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)** ’s name to  **UselessBisexual**

 

**UselessBisexual:** words cant hurt me these shades are gucci

 

**UselessBisexual:** also

 

**UselessBisexual** has chanhed  **TsuBOMBi's name to UselessLesbian**

 

**Kousuke Seto:** i feel left out :,(

 

**UselessBisexual** has changed  **Kousuke Seto** 's name to  **UselessAsexual**

 

**UselessAsexual:** thank you :)

 

**UselessBisexual:** yall we should change the chat name to something funner

 

**trashboi:** funner

 

**Useless Bisexual:** shut the f*ck up c*nt shouldnt you be watching sesame street with your sister and her boyfriend

 

**UselessBisexual:** ENE LET ME CUSS

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** No!!!!!! :)

 

**trashboi:** momo has a gf

 

**UselessBisexual:** SHE WHAT

 

**trashboi:** yeah ive heard her talking about her a few times but she wont tell me who

 

**UselessBisexual:** does anybody know who???!!!!

 

**UselessAsexual:** No

 

**Konoha:** Yes

 

**waitnoily:** Yes.

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Yes!!!!!!!

 

**UselessLesbian:** Yes.

 

**UselessLesbian:** Wait, Ene/Konoha, how do you guys know?

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Ene knows all!!!!!!!!!!

 

**Konoha:** Ene told me

 

**UselessLesbian:** Of course.

 

**UselessBisexual:** bACK to the topic at hand--

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧** has changed the chat name to  **☆Mekakushi Hot D*mn☆**

 

**UselessBisexual:** eh it. it kinda loses the effect when you censor it

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧** has changed the chat name to  **☆Mekakushi Hot D*mn☆ also fuck you K*no**

 

**Konoha:** BIG oof

 

**UslessAsexual:** !!!!!! Konoha!!!! We should give you a fun nickname too!!!!

 

**Konoha:** please don't

 

**UselessAsexual:** oh??? 

 

**Konoha:** i prefer my own name is all

 

**UselessAsexual:** its alright! Sorry if i sounded intrusive :(

 

**Konoha:** no it's fine

 

**Useless Lesbian:** Why can't you be like them, Kano?

 

**UselessBisexual:** because im not a COWARD.

 

**UselessBisexual** has changed  **Konoha** 's name to  **Kononaw**

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧** has changed  **Kononaw** 's name to  **Konoha**

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** He :) said :) he :) likes :) his :) own :) name, :) f*cker :) .

 

**Konoha:** thank you

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** You're welcome!

 

**UselessBisexual:** fear.png 

 

**trashboi:** wait ene why did you add ayano to the chat

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** What are you talking abou

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Oh.

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Oops! My bad! Sorry, she used to use this app a whi

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** I'll kick her.

 

**trashboi:** no its ok

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Are you sure?

 

**trashboi:** yeah idk its cool to have her with us in spirit i guess

 

**trashboi:** idk that made a lot of sense in my head sorry

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** Ah bro do you need to join the cuddle pile?

 

**trashboi:** what i thought you went offline

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** I saw you texting so i logged in to check.

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** Come on down! Were watching disney movies. Youre welcome to join!

 

**FedEx:** no he isnt

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** Aw, dont be mean! 

 

**FedEx:** fine,,,,,

 

**trashboi:** alright

 

**UselessAsexual:** have fun you guys!!!

 

**UselessBisexual:** perish

 

**UselessLesbian** has kicked  **UselessBisexual** from the chat

 

**UselessLesbian:** Maybe we should just have a joint movie night.

 

**waitnoily:** Oh! That sounds fun!

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** Yeah! Youre all welcome to come over here! Ill start making some popcorn :)

 

**UselessLesbian:** Alright, I'll bring everybody down.

 

**UselessLesbian:** Phones off here we socialize like real people.

 

**Konoha:** false.

 

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*** **_Ene_ ** ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Hey!!!!!

 

**UselessLesbian:** Everybody except trashboi and Konoha phones off.

 

**trashboi:** i have a name

 

**Momo Kisaragi:** Shintaro whomst? I know only trashboi.

  
**trashboi:** for f*cks sake


	2. sorry to ruin the mood but im getting you three mixed up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is mostly talking about/ explaining lgbtq topics so fair warning that while i am pan/nonbinary i am in no way an expert and do not speak for all lgbtq when i write this that is all goodnight

**waitnoily:** I'm sorry I didn't ask last night, but what does asexual mean?

 

 **UselessAsexual:** oH.

 

 **UselessBisexual:** you dont know,,,, what asexual means,,,,,???

 

 **waitnoily:** I'm sorry, I'm a little behind the times!

 

 **UselessAsexual:** nonono its fine!!!!

 

 **UselessAsexual:** do you know what lgbtq(+) is?

 

 **waitnoily:** I think I've heard it in passing, but I don't really know what it means.

 

 **UselessAsexual:** right, well it basically stands for lesbian, gay, bi, trans, and queer/questioning

 

 **UselessAsexual:** theres tons more than just that but basically its a group of people who arent heterosexual/cisgender

 

 **waitnoily:** I don't know what heterosexual or cisgender means.

 

 **UselessAsexual:** this is harder to explain than i thought uhh,,,@UselessLesbian help

 

 **UselessLesbian:** Heterosexual: (of a person) sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex.

Cisgender: denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender corresponds with their birth sex.

 

 **UselessAsexual:** oh woah thats. Ok.

 

 **UselessLesbian:** I just copied and pasted the definitions off of google.

 

 **UselessAsexual:** oh woah thats. Ok.

 

 **waitnoily:** Are there people who don't identify as their birth sex?

 

 **FedEx:** yeah. trans and nonbinary people

 

 **waitnoily:** Trans? Nonbinary?

 

 **FedEx:** nonbinary are people who dont identify on one end of the gender spectrum (boy/girl). maybe they're neither , both , or something different at any given time theres a ton of them so its probably a good idea to ask for pronouns

 

 **waitnoily:** What are your pronouns?

 

 **trashboi:** he/him

 

 **FedEx:** he/him also

 

 **UselessLesbian:** She/her or they/them.

 

 **Momo Kisaragi:** She/her

 

 **UselessBisexual:** he/him

 

 **UselessAsexual:** he/him :)

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** They/them!!!!!!

 

 **Konoha:** he/him

 

 **FedEx:** the most common pronouns are he, she, and they but there are more of them

 

 **FedEx:** transgender can just be an umbrella hat term for anybody who isnt cis, but generally its used for people who identify as the opposite as whats assigned to them at birth

 

 **FedEx:** im

 

 **FedEx:** trans

 

 **UselessAsexual:** hey!!!! Thank you for being comfortable enough to share that with us! :)

 

 **Momo Kisaragi:** Yeah! <3<3<3

 

 **UselessLesbian:** <3

 

 **trashboi:** <3

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** <3!!!!!

 

 **Konoha:** <3

 

 **waitnoily:** <3?!

 

 **UselessBisexual:** only love and appreciation for our trans friend on this wholesome group chat

 

 **trashboi:** you ruined it

 

 **UselessBisexual:** <3

 

 **trashboi:** well its too late now

 

 **waitnoily:** What about asexual and bisexual?

 

 **UselessAsexual:** those are different types of sexualities

 

 **UselessAsexual:** asexuality is kind of the lack of sexual attraction

 

 **waitnoily:** So you don't have any romantic relationships at all?

 

 **UselessAsexual:** nope! thats aromantic. i still have romantic relationships just not… with the uhh yknow

 

 **UselessBisexual:** kinky

 

 **UselessLesbian:** Stop.

 

 **waitnoily:** What about bisexual?

 

 **UselessBisexual:** boys and girls

 

 **UselessBisexual:** and nonbinary people

 

 **Useless Lesbian:** Why don’t we just state our sexualities and explain them in order?

 

 **UselessAsexual:** alright! You already know im asexual… but im also heteroromantic so i like,,,, girls. Cis.

 

 **UselessBisexual:** <<<<<<+cis

 

 **Konoha:** im not really sure? I havent really thought about too much or found a label… so i guess questioning? Pretty sure im cis

 

 **Momo Kisaragi:** Its ok to be questioning! I spent a lot of middle school not knowing what i was, but im going by~~homosexual (it means im a lesbian lol) i like,,,, GORLS,,,,

 

 **UselessLesbian:** Same hat.

 

 **UselessBisexual:** the meme’s dead tsubombi

 

 **UselessLesbian:** I’m a demigirl.

 

 **UselessLesbian:** A demigirl (also called a demiwoman or a demifemale person) is a gender identity describing someone who partially, but not wholly, identifies as a woman, girl or otherwise feminine, whatever their assigned gender at birth. They may or may not identify as another gender in addition to feeling partially a girl or woman.

 

 **UselessBisexual:** ok now your just being lazy

 

 **trashboi:** pan/demi and cis

 

 **waitnoily:** Pan? Pansexual? Demisexual?

 

 **trashboi:** yeah pan means everybody

 

 **waitnoily:** Isn’t that the same thing as bisexuality?

 

 **UselessBisexual:** not really. some bi people specifically like men and women… thats how i started out. i didnt even know nonbinary people existed at that point

 

 **UselessBisexual:** its just sort of whatever label you choose i guess.

 

 **waitnoily:** Okay, cool!

 

 **trashboi:** demi is when you dont feel sexual attraction unless you have a strong emotional attachment to the perosn

 

 **trashboi:** technically im also demiromantic

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Gender is a binding chain invented by society to keep us in line.

 

 **trashboi:** theyre agender

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** There is no gender.

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** There is only Ene.

 

 **trashboi:** theyre agender

 

 **waitnoily:** What about your sexuality?

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Sexuality is a binding chain invented by society to keep us in line.

 

 **trashboi:** theyre abrosexual

 

 **trashboi:** means their sexuality fluctuates

 

 **waitnoily:** Alright! Thanks for telling me! What are you, Amamiya?

 

 **FedEx:** im 12

 

 **UeslessBisexual:** You Know What Thats Fair.

 

 **FedEx:** i already came out as trans i dont need to deal with my maybe sexuality right now thanks

 

 **Momo Kisaragi:** What about you, marry?

 

 **waitnoily:** Huh?

 

 **Momo Kisaragi:** Do any of these ring with you?

 

 **waitnoily:** I’m not sure! Sorry! I’ll have to think on that some more.

 

 **Momo Kisaragi:** Naw, that’s cool. Maybe you should do a little research, there are tons more lgbtq terms! You cant fit the entire lgbtq community into just 8 people!!

 

 **Momo Kisaragi:** Plus, you might not even be any of them! You might just be cishet. Either way its perfectly fine.

 

 **waitnoily:** I’ll look into it! Thank you for explaining this for me.

 

 **UselessAsexual:** no problem!

 

 **UselessBisexual:** ^^^^^

 

 **UselessLesbian:** We’ll help you out with this kind of stuff if you need it.

 

 **FedEx:** sorry to ruin the mood but im getting you three mixed up

 

 **FedEx:** could you change your names

 

 **UselessLesbian** has changed their name to **TsuBOMBi**

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** Sure.

 

 **UselessAsexual:** aw man the matching names were fun :,,(

 

 **UselessAsexual:** i cant think of anything creative can somebody help me??

 

 **TsuBOMBi** has changed **UselessAsexual** ’s name to **DoggoneIt**

 

 **DoggoneIt:** haha yay!!!! :)

 

 **UselessBisexual:** wait smaller kisaragi you dont have a fun name

 

 **Momo Kisaragi:** Excuse me

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧** has changed **Momo Kisaragi** ’s name to **Kagamine Rin**

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** FIRST of f*cking all

 

 **trashboi:** alskfkfkf im wheezing

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Im sitting right next to you and you typed that with a completely deadpan expression.

 

 **trashboi:** stop exposing me

 **Kagamine Rin:** No.


	3. Your lucky im at rehearsal and not already on my way to beat the sh*t out of you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter for tonight since these were like all the ones i had on hand. maybe i'll finish the half-complete one and post that later but for now i hope you enjoy this! (:

**UselessBisexual:** Two trains leave different cities heading toward each other at different speeds. When and where do they meet? Train A, traveling 70 miles per hour (mph), leaves Westford heading toward Eastford, 260 miles away. At the same time Train B, traveling 60 mph, leaves Eastford heading toward Westford. When do the two trains meet?

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** Could you not.

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Your lucky im at rehearsal and not already on my way to beat the sh*t out of you.

 

 **FedEx:** this sanctuary is math free

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** ^

 

 **Konoha:** i like math

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** You would.

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** I didn't used to like math.

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** But now I have a built in calculator!!!!!! So whatever.

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Never thought id be jealous of the knockoff hatsune miku

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Look at you user and repeat that, Rule 63 Kagamine Len.

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Meet me in the pit ill fight you.

 

 **waitnoily:** Math is a fun way to pass time!

 

 **DoggoneIt:** i dont like or dislike it more than any of my other school subjects that i had????

 

 **trashboi:** 140 miles from westford 120 miles from eastford

 

 **UslessBisexul:** wHAT,,,,,,

 

 **FedEx:** did u rlly solve that

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** You forget my brother has an entire iq of Smarter Than You.

 

 **UselessBisexual:** that wasnt even 5 minutes holy christ

 

 **trashboi:** it doesnt take 5 min to solve

 

 **trashboi:** its easy if u know the formulas

 

 **UselessBisexual:** can you marry me?????

 

 **trashboi:** no

 

 **DoggoneIt:** i keep on forgetting your a child prodigy haha!!!!! :)

 

 **DoggoneIt:** your way smarter than the rest of us…

 

 **UselessBisexual:** why do u hang out with us losers anyway?

 

 **trashboi:** im a highschool dropout

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Hes a highschool dropout

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** He's a highschool dropout!!!!!!!

 

 **trashboi:** both of you run

 

 **Konoha:** rip Ene/Kisaragi 2018

 

 **FedEx:** never forget

 

_2:31_

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** I Am Immortal.

 

 **trashboi:** where r you hiding

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** I Am Everlasting.

 

 **trashboi:** your not on my phone where r u

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** I Know No Fear.

 

 **FedEx:** momo u alive

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Hiding but im alright!

 

 **trashboi:** dont get comfortable your next

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Aaaaaand back to hiding.

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** @TsuBOMBi help :,(

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** omw

 

 **trashboi:** is that you knocking on the door

 

 **UselessBisexual:** kisaragi: babe come over tsubomi: cant kisaragi: my brother is bulli tsubomi: NYOOM

 

 **trashboi:** wtf it is

 

 **UselessBisexual:** WAIT RLLY

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Thank you,,,,

 

 **trashboi:** help she jahd mek in a hevadlock

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** I love my beautiful gf!

 

 **UselessBisexual:** WHAT

 

 **DoggoneIt:** tsubomi was the secret GF!!!??!?

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Wait no

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** It's fine. It was bound to come out eventually.

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** <3

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** <3

 

 **Konoha:** is trashboi alive id expect him to be reacting to this

 

 **trashboi:** im dead

 

 **FedEx:** finally

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** He's laying on the floor. He isn't moving.

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** I had him in a headlock for a grand total of seven seconds.

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** Is he crying?

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Uhhhh dont worry he does this sometimes ill get him. Just a drama queen.

 

 **waitnoily:** Are you sure he's alright?

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** His gf is die.

 

 **waitnoily:** What?

 

 **Konoha:** nvm that hes cool though?

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Yeah ill just make him watch some more disney movies. To recharge.

 

 **FedEx:** kisaragi machine broke

 

 **DoggoneIt:** you dont seem very concerned.

 

 **FedEx:** i havent felt an emotion in years

 

 **Konoha:** too real

 

 **waitnoily:** Disney movies again?

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** I just wanted to watch mulan tbh.

 

 **Konoha:** valid

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** My favorite is Moana.

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Really? I took you for more of a little mermaid person.

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** That's my second favorite.

 

 **Konoha:** sleeping beauty

 

 **DoggoneIt:** BAMBI

 

 **waitnoily:** Are you crying?

 

 **FedEx:** 2 entire crying boys grow up men

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Up

 

 **FedEx:** sHUT the F*CK

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** 3 entire crying boys grow up men

 

 **waitnoily:** I haven't watched too many Disney movies but Lilo and Stitch was good! Brave was a nice one, too.

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** Frozen.

 

 **UselessBisexual:** frozen?

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** Frozen.

 

 **UselessBisexual:** princess and the frog will always have my heart

 

 **Konoha:** interesting choice

 

 **UselessBisexual:** well what were you expecting??

 

 **Konoha:** tbh idk but it wasnt that

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Writing all these down for our next movie night yall.

 

 **FedEx:** yall

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Yes.

 

 **FedEx:** k

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Uhh anyway sorry to cut this short but my brother is in dire need of my attention. Ciao?

 

 **FedEx:** later

 

 **Konoha:** bye

 

 **waitnoily:** Goodbye!

  


**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Well, I live with you guys, so…

 

 **DoggoneIt:** looking forward to the next movie night!

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** Should I leave?

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Youre fine

 

 **UselessBisexual:** ;;;;;)))))))

  
**Kagamine Rin:** No.


	4. That bluff mightve worked if it wasnt for the pause

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while! Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long but eh. Creating has been Hard so we'll see. Hope ya'll enjoy!

**DoggoneIt:** GUYS!!!! I got a dog!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** You what.

 

 **DoggoneIt:** im sorry but it was just sitting there on the side of the road……… it looked so sad

 

 **DoggoneIt:** i think somebody abandoned it :(

 

 **Konoha:** can i come over and see it?

 

 **DoggoneIt:** yeah! His name is Toothy and i love him

 

 **trashboi:** his name is what

 

 **DoggoneIt:** Toothy! Like the dragon, but with teeth

 

 **trashboi:** pardon me but what in the holy f*ck are u talking abt

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Hes never watched httyd dont bother.

 

 **trashboi:** whats httyd

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Dont bother.

 

 **Rin Kagamine:** Also me and hibiya are coming over to see the dog 2!

 

 **FedEx:** since when?

 

 **Rin Kagamine:** Since just now! Get your shoes on!

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:**!!!!!!!

 

 **trashboi:** no

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** :( !!!!!!!!!

 

 **trashboi:** f*ck no

 

 **trashboi:** actlly give me cussing privileges and well go

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Deal.

 

 **trashboi:** hell yeah

 

 **FedEx:** OH COME ON

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** I'm not sure if we can keep him.

 

 **DoggoneIt:** ):

 

 **UselessBisexual:** look at that you've made him cry

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** Sh*t.

 

 **TsBOMBi:** Okay I'll think about it but I can't promise you more than that, alright?

 

 **DoggoneIt:** (:

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** Thank god.

 

 **waitnoily:** I'm with him and the dog right now! He is very cute.

 

 **trashboi:** the dog or the human prson

 

 **waitnoily:** Both.

 

 **DoggoneIt:** AlsjskahGjskLknnksk

 

 **DoggoneIt:** tthank you,,

 

 **FedEx:** calm down str8s

 

 **DoggoneIt:** never call me such an atrocious name ever again

 

 **DoggoneIt:** really though i'm ace not straight.

 

 **FedEx:** srry wont do it again

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** We're all gay here…

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Also!!!!!!!!

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧** has changed **waitnoily** ‘s name to **snerson**

 

 **FedEx:** godamit

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Has science come too far?

 

 **snerson:** I don't quite think I understand this reference.

 

 **trashboi:** OH FUCK YOU

 

 **snerson:**?!

 

 **trashboi:** wait no not you

 

 **DoggoneIt:** square up thot

 

 **trashboi:** I SAID WAIT

 

 **Konoha:** so are yall coming to see this dog or what

 

 **trashboi:** momo you take ene im going into hiding in another country

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Im not taking your demon computer

 

 **✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:***   **_Ene_ **   ***:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:** Yeah!! You promised you would take me, Master!!!!!!!!

 

 **trashboi:** fuck

 

 **UselessBisexual:** dont worry! ill protect u uwu

 

 **trashboi:** go fuck urself

 

 **UselessBisexual:** wrow

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** Seto.

 

 **DoggoneIt:** kido i swear i will take care of this dog with my life i will feed him and pet him and you will never have to see him just PLEAS let me keep him

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** You can keep him. That's not what I wanted to ask.

 

 **DoggoneIt:** oh

 

 **DoggoneIt:** thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou kido youre the best!!!!!!!!!

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** I know.

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** Are you and Marry together?

 

**DoggoneIt:**

 

**snerson:**

 

 **Konoha:** were in the same house? so yes?

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ ** Sweetheart. That's not what she meant _at all_.

 

 **Konoha:** then what did she

 

 **Konoha:** oh

 

 **Konoha:** holy SHIT WHEN DID YOU GUYS HOOK UP

 

 **FedEX:** jesus i can hear you screaming from over text

 

 **FedEX:** rlly tho spill the tea sis

 

 **snerson:** What?

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Ignore him!!!

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** But are the rumors true? Did my bffl really not tell me she got a boyfriend?

 

 **snerson:** I

 

 **snerson:** I'm sorry!

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Its fine! But when did this happen?

 

 **DoggoneIt:** literally last night we were going to tell you!!!!

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** Oh. Sorry.

 

 **DoggoneIt:** its ok rlly but jeez

 

 **UselessBisexual:** b*tch WHAT THE F*CK

 

 **UselessBisexual:** I AM YOUR BROTHER

 

 **UselessBisexual:** AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME 

 

 **trashboi:** he just said he was planning on telling you today

 

 **UselessBisexual:** this is bullsh*t

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ **Guess who's outside your house Seto!!!!!!

 

 **DoggoneIt:** a dead man walking?

 

 **trashboi:** please just let ene see your dog you know it was an accident

 

 **DoggoneIt:** (:

 

 **trashboi:** you know what

 

 **trashboi:** it was worth it to legally be allowed to say fuck

 

 **trashboi:** goodbye cruel world

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** uhhh bye b*tch

 

 **UselessBisexual:** good riddance

 

 **TsuBOMBi:** We won't miss you.

 

 **FedEx:** about time

 

 **Konoha:** justice is served at long last

 

 **snerson:** F*ck him up, Babe.

 

 **trashboi:** i hate this fucking family

 

-

 

 **UselessBisexual:** wait a second

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Please think about what youre about to send

 

 **UselssBisexual:** chill its not another porn website link

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ **You're lucky because if it was I would have to personally eradicate you from this plane of existence!!!!!

 

 **UselessBisexual:** dont pretend you didnt enjoy it

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ **Yes,but Konoha didn't.

 

 **UselessBisexual:** please dont tell me you 2 are dating too

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ **No way. He's my best friend and I love him but I'd never date him.

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Understandable

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Id never date hibiya.

 

 **UselessBisexual:** hes like 10

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Yeah but if he wasnt

 

 **UselessBisexual:** OKAY WHATEVER shut up i need to talk about my own problems now

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Literally nobodys here theyre all out buying dog stuff

 

 **UselessBisexual:** even shintaro?

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Yeah

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Nobody else is online.

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ **I'm online!!!!!

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** We know.

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ ** Ene is always online.

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** We know, ene.

 

 **UselessBisexual:** GUYS SHUT UP I'M THE ONLY ONE OF MY SIBLINGS WHOS SINGLE

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** I guess you and my brother have that in common.

 

 **UselessBisexual:** shut the up youre dating my sister marrys dating my brother what the hell am i supposed to do??

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ **Boo hoo

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ **Let me play you the world's saddest song on the world's tiniest violin

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** This is so sad alexa play despacito

 

 **UselessBisexual:** hhh i haaate you guys

 

 **UselessBisexual:** you know what thats fine im gonna ask somebody out and im not gonna be single anymore

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Literally who in their right mind would want to date you

 

 **UselessBisexual:** uhhhh

 

 **UselessBisexual:** ene???

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ **Oh, h*ll no.

 

 **UslessBisexual:** dammit

 

 **UselessBisexual:** ok fine theres still konoha and shintaro

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ ** _ask konoha out I'll follow through on my earlier threat uwu_

 

 **UselessBisexual:** ok so that leaves

 

 **UslessBisexual:** shintaro f*ck

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Shintaro f*ck?

 

 **UselessBisexual:** no i mean like

 

 **UselessBisexual:** shintato, f*ck

 

 **Kagaime Rin:** Ah

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Oh h*ll no am i letting you become my in-law.

 

 **UselessBisexual:** chill im not asking for his hand in marriage

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ **AlsjKzhsnall of course you get stuck with the second worse member of the Mekakushi Dan

 

 **UselessBisexual:** you know what im going to let this one slide and not ask who the first worst member is

 

 **UselessBisexual:** what does your brother like momo

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Well he used to be a nerd...

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** He still is now hes just a loser neet nerd instead of just a regular nerd.

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Idk??? He barely leaves his computer.

 

 **UselessBisexual:** ok how did kido ask you out

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Actually i asked her out

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Took her to a 5 star resturant and played her an original love song under the starlight.

 

 **UselessBisexual:** how the heck am i supposed to beat that

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ **You can't!!!!!

 

 **UselessBisexual:** ok ill just get him like flowers or something

 

 **Kagamine Ein:** My brother hates plants.

 

 **UselessBisexual:** cchocolate then?

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Allergic

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ **Looks like you're stressing pretty hard considering you claim to only want a boyfriend so you're not the only one of your siblings who's single!!!!!!

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Lol do you actually have a crush on him or something

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** That would be embarrassing

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ **Yeah, haha!!!!

 

**Kagamine Rin:**

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Kano?

 

 **UselessBisexual:** your brother is my last chance to show my siblings up. i cant f*ck this up

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** That bluff mightve worked if it wasnt for the pause

 

 **UslessBisexual:** sh*t

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ **Also any world where Master is a better romantic partner than Marry or Momo is a world I don't want to live in.

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Ok fine ill help you out.

 

 **UselessBisexual:** i thought you didnt want me as your inlaw?

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Yeah but if youre actually serious i kinda have to...

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Ill head over to your place and we can figure this out.

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Ene can you delete this conversation?

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ **Of course!!!!!!

 

 **_✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Ene *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧:_ **But I'm saving it for blackmail!!!!!!!

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Alright whatever.

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Im going to turn you into a lean green

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Uh

 

 **Kagamine Rin:** Romance machine?

 

 **UselessBisexual:** reassuring


End file.
